'Can't Help Falling In Love' : Part 3

Arnav stared blindly at the road ahead. He was struggling to come to terms with the evening's events. He, of all people, had said yes to marriage and that too with Lavanya. Neither Nani nor Anjali had forced him. Neither did Lavanya. It was all him, the great Mr Arnav Singh Raizada and never once did he consider what that would mean to her. He glanced to his left and the sight caused his heart to wince in pain. She sat still, looking forwards. Only the constant wringing of her hands, and the twitching and biting of her lips gave way to her innermost turmoil.

What have I done? He gripped the steering wheel tightly, as though his life depended on it.

He warned her to stay away. Even when he said he didn't ever want to see her face, she stood there waiting for answers. Demanding that he explain why he had kept the payal and why did he almost kiss her. He still warned her to back off but she remained fixed. What was he to do? She needed answers and she had every right to.  But he had none that he could share.
Yes, he kept the payal and he kept it safely. But he too didn't understand what that meant.
Yes, he was too overwhelmed with her beauty and innocence as she stood nervously by the pool.
Yes, he found himself against his will, gravitating to her slowly and surely.
Yes, he cupped her face and nearly kissed those plump inviting lips.
But that was never his intention. His intention was always to stay away. Didn't he bring Lavanya back to ensure the distance was maintained between the two of them?

So how did it get to this?! What happened to the great Mr Arnav Singh Raizada being the driver of his own destiny?!

He closed his eyes as the enormity of the whole situation began to sink in.
He was driving her home for the last time; he didn't see that coming.
When she agreed with mamiji that her job was finished at RM and that today was her last day; again he didn't see that coming.
But he must have foreseen something happening when he walked away from his own sanctuary to the crowded hall and slipped his fingers into Lavanya's. He definitely had to foresee what would have happened as soon as he announced that he was agreeing to marriage with Lavanya. Or was he so blinded and purely driven by the need to escape. Escape from her and more so escape from what she was doing to him. More importantly was he driven by the need to punish her and torment her, like he was being constantly tormented in her presence and her absence.

Arnav studied the speedometer. 30mph?! He had never driven so slow in his whole life! 30mph was just a mark that he passed as he usually accelerated further. He loved driving fast. It helped him switch the world out and to just think. Ironically, today even 30mph was too fast and he wanted to slow down but the damn 4x4 and its powerful engine would not give in to his demands. He estimated that in less than 5 minutes, he would bring his car to a halt in front of her porch. And then what?! He struggled to breathe and felt his chest tightened.

The 4x4 slowed down as it approached a t-junction. Arnav waited. He was not even pretending to scan the road for oncoming traffic. He needed time to digest what it all meant but tonight, time was definitely working against him. HE was working against him. He scanned the rear view mirror: nothing. Relieved that he had few seconds. To do what, he was not sure. Everything that he had done so far didn't seem to work and he was close to admitting defeat. He needed a sign. He was waiting for sign. From where he didn't know. But for the first time in his life, he waited helplessly in the middle of the road for a sign. From god?!!! The very thought forced him to take a long blink. He didn't believe in such nonsense!!! That notion was only for the weak. And he wasn't that desperate. He was just waiting for his intuition to kick in to tell him what to do next.

His eyes drifted to his left and he allowed himself to study her. Her milky hands were now red with the constant wringing. She briefly glanced across towards him. Her lips stretched to a smile but it ended prematurely. Her lips were sore with all that biting. Her eyes glistened with wetness. He knew she had been crying . He searched her eyes hoping for some sort of answer but struggled as they were being drowned by the increasing wetness. She was struggling to contain her emotions, but she was trying! Quickly as though she suspected that he knew, she turned towards the front. And a honk from the back forced his attention back to the rear mirror.

He had to make a decision. He indicated right. The tightness in his chest eased. And gradually he accelerated the 4x4 back to the creeping speed. He even slowed down slightly and swerved to the left to allow the tiny car behind him to overtake.

"Arnavji, you needed to take a left to get to my house." Khushi finally spoke. Her voice controlled.

"There was a sign about some road works. So this is an alternate route." he lied though noticed that she did not protest either. He needed time and he may have just bought them a further 10minutes, 15 minutes at a stretched. As it was Diwali, the roads were clear and there was not even a damn traffic. He cursed.

He wished he could turn back time and start the evening again. He would have done it differently, he hoped, though was unconvinced. Khushi always had a way that made him mad, made him react and then regret.

He recalled the first time his eyes set on her. The fashion show and her not so elegant stroll down the ramp. She was nervous, he could see it and then she lost balance and he instinctly grabbed her in his arms to break her fall. Even then she aroused something in him. He was mad. He wanted to punish her for ruining his show. But did he truly care about the show?! It was another fashion show. He had organised numerous shows and they now bordered on utter boredom.

He was already successful and had made his name in fashion. After all, he wasn't the most influential and demanded fashion designer and owner of the most esteem Indian fashion house for nothing. Even if he wrapped a woman in a black lining bag and dressed it up slightly, it would be the next craze and people would storm through his boutiques, and the item would be sold out by the evening. He didn't need the show to be a success. Whether something went right or wrong, with him being there, it was a success. He was not being arrogant. That was just his reality.

He had managed single handedly to stir himself and his sister from the brink of absolute poverty to absolute wealth. That was through pure will and determination. He did not see any god or fortunate blessings then. Some newspapers and articles called him "the wonder boy with the golden touch"! But they failed to see that every step of the way, he was faced with some form of obstacles and he always overcame them to eventually succeed. He had built his entire fashion empire on pure sweat and hard work. He had made all the decisions to diversify into property, commodities and entertainment that proved equally successful. Yes he was hard but that was the price he was willing to pay. No one was ever going to ill treat his sister and him again. He now demanded respect wherever he went. He had more wealth than some countries GDP. He now had a huge house and several key properties around the globe that would be the envy to most, the cars, the luxurious forms of travel and other luxurious items. His family was comfortable and would need for nothing. And he had a girlfriend that did not interfere in his life and was a minimal distraction. He was existing well.

Existing...until that night, that fateful fall. Until her eyes searched for something in his as he held her, until he felt something had unlocked in him and then he was at all cost going to lock it even it meant tormenting her, torturing her and punishing her. But was it her or himself? Was he angry at himself for letting her in? How could she break into his strong armour that he took years to perfect with one glance? How?!

Every time he tried to push her away, something somehow brought her back.
He released the photos to the press to teach her a lesson. No one confronted Arnav Singh Raizada, no one!!! But didn't he then just react to her and even put his very highly valued privacy on the line, just to proof to her a point.
He was driving very carefully when she, out of all the millions of people in Delhi, had to collide into his 4x4. What was she doing in Delhi in the first place? Driven there to escape from the unwanted attention, a consequence of him releasing their photos.
She was then adamant that she would pay him back at all cost and ventured on her own to get a job. And behold, she landed in AR. He then saw it as a wonderful opportunity to use her helplessness to make her life hell.
He squeezed his eyes shut to banish the images from his mind. He deliberately caused her pain and yet she persisted through the torments, the rain, the destitute as she sat trapped in the debilitated guest house. Even when she left after deciding that she would not work with him and AR, something brought her back: the contract for sweets for Di's anniversary party; Di bringing her to RM to groom Lavanya.
How many times he insulted her over her social status, yet she held her head up high. She persisted through all the hardships with the aim of getting the money to not just repay him but to be of service to her parents.
How different was she from the young Arnav of yesteryears?!

She was justified to call him a rakshas, lard governor and character dheela. She was absolutely justified to hate him.
Then why did she start becoming too comfortable around him?
Despite all his cruel actions, when he hurt, burnt, was semi unconscious, why was she by his side, apologising, fussing and helping?
How did she get to the state of falling for him?!
Anyone would have hated him, despised him. He hated him for what he had done to her. Yet she stood there for him, with him.
Even he couldn't stay away when she hurt, even though he probably caused most of the hurt in the first place.
So it was only natural that she demanded what was happening to them and in between them. Any sane person would. But again, he pushed and tonight, he had to admit, he had pushed too far and maybe now nothing could bring her back.

He froze. Did he want her back?
He glanced at her. Her lips were oozing with blood. She couldn't even control her emotions well. She couldn't even walk well and was constantly falling here or there. She had no control of what sometimes spurt out of her mouth. Censorship did not exist in her vocabulary. She was too immature and constantly relying on her Devi Mayaa for this and that.
In conclusion, she stood for everything that he despised. So why was he struggling to let her go?! This should be a blessing in disguise. He was about to marry the woman that ticked all of his requirements in a partner. Lavanya was elegant, beautiful, smart, very well educated, successful and from a similar successful family as his. So why did that feel so wrong?!

He ran one hand through his thick brown hair. He already knew the answer as soon as he formed the question. Because she did not make him feel the way Khushi did. To be frank, he did not feel at all around Lavanya. With Khushi, the negative emotions were intense but equally, he had laughed when she had covered her face with gram flour. He had smiled when despite being angry at her melodrama and manipulation to get him to stay, he had seen her dance at the dhaba in Nainital. He had felt so light and free when he saw her jumping for joy at finding 2 silver coins in a soap packet. And he had felt that he finally had reached home when she hugged him.

So then why did he push her away? Why today, when their relationship could have easily taken a step forward? She had wanted to, he had seen it in her eyes just before he was about to kiss her. He had wanted to, for honest, for a long time. So why even then, he was afraid to take it to the next step.
Was it her status that he was worried about? He certainly knew he didn't care about that but merely used it as a tool to torment her with.
Was it because he was still in a relationship with Lavanya? Maybe but he would end that in a heartbeat. So then why was he still with her, toying with her feelings as well.
He had so many questions and maybe if he was blatantly honest with himself, not even one answer. But one thing he did know for certain, he could not continue running away. It was too exhausting and he was too tired.

He swirled the car around and accelerated. 200 yards from her front porch, he parked the car.

"Thank you Arnavji." Khushi placed her hand on the car door.

Immediately he pressed the central lock and shut them in. He met her puzzled look but he too wasn't sure what he has going to do next. He had to buy time.
"For what khushi?"

"For everything. For my payal. For giving me the job opportunity. For paying for my babuji. For being..." she struggled to go on. Her voice quivering so badly. She again bit her lip.

"Stop Khushi. Its already badly bruised" he was not sure whether he was referring to her lips, herself or himself.

"Khushi, didn't you ask me a question about what happened tonight?"

"It doesn't matter. You were right. It changes nothing" she whispered. "Anyway, did you see how happy naniji and Anjali was. Finally you were getting married."

He smiled as he saw through her fascade. "Khushi, do you truly believe it means nothing?" he tried to interrupt.

"And Lavanya is such a nice girl. She's really sweet and even Naniji likes her too."

"Khushi?" he raised his voice, again unsuccessful in getting her attention. His phone started buzzing and he scanned the caller id: Anjali! He didn't need any distractions. He switched it off, removed his Bluetooth earpiece and flung them to the back seat.

She stopped and watched him, eyes wide with amazement. "You know, I'm sure it will be a wonderful wedding. Can you imagine?!" she replied chirpily though failing miserably at containing her sadness.

He could feel his irritability increasing. He tried to take deep breaths but was failing miserably. He always did have difficulties controlling his temper.

"Will you design your own outfits and Lavanya's too? That would be absolutely brilliant" she continued.

Would this woman stop?! And she is definitely the one?!! He asked himself and immediately felt the answer.

"Stop Khushi. I'm trying to say something. Khushi!! Listen to me!!!!" He thundered. He watched as she retreated in silence, like a scared little puppy.

He immediately unclicked his seat belt and inched closer to her. She tried moving back but was stopped by the car door.

"Arnavji."

"shhh Khushi. How many times do I have to tell you that when I'm talking, let me finish!!!" He felt his arousal levels increased. Why does she always have to make it so difficult?

He took several deep breaths and focused on her eyes. "Khushi, does it truly not make a difference to you what happened between us tonight?" he asked. His voice soft.

"How can it? I am just a simple girl from a simple family in Lucknow  that struggles to make ends meet. I even had difficulties paying for my father's health care bill. You on the other hand are a successful business tycoon. You always remind me of my status and not forgetting it; and actually you are right. We are polarities apart: in our wealth, our ideals, our believes and even the way we look at life. You are a master of your own destiny and I believe that everything happens with Devi Mayaa's blessing. How can you and I be a reality? We can't even agree to meet in the middle." She spoke softly but surely. Her eyes brimming with tears as she finally voiced the reality of the situation. It also dawned on her the absurdity of her dreams that he was the one.

Arnav inched closer and grabbed her hand. Initially she tried to pull it away but he held it firm. "You are right, we are different." He watched as sadness continued to envelope her face. "I'm a man of very few words and you talk non-stop. I hate sweets and you live off them. I'm not completely fond of religion and you do nothing but communicate with your Devi Mayaa the whole day."

"Not the whole day." She corrected.

"I'm sorry. That's right. Not the whole day. You spend most of your day communicating with yourself through the constant inner chatter of yours." He almost laughed when he saw her try to growl. "Where was I? How many times Khushi do I have to tell you to let me finish?"

"Hmm. Sorry"

"I hate melodrama and you thrive on them. And yes I am rich and you are not as fortunate in the prosperity front. But you do have a family that loves you."

"And you do too." She interrupted. And then mouthed a sorry.

"And we both have lost our parents at a young age. Granted you have definitely handled it better than I." He picked her hand up and placed it on his chest. "And we both have a heart that beats faster when the other is around. We both have eyes that constantly search for the other, be it a quiet room or a crowded hall. And we both have an existence that would mean nothing without the other."

"What are you trying to say Arnavji?" Khushi struggled to hear as her heart was now beating too loud.

He let go of her hand and cupped her face. He inched closer to her until he could feel her breath on his cheeks. "Khushi, I'm so sorry for this evening. Please give me 24hrs to correct everything. How, I don't know but I have full faith in my abilities and maybe, just maybe, you could ask your Devi Mayaa to help me as well".