'Can't Help Falling In Love' : Part 5

Arnav watched as Khushi made a not so subtle exit from his car into her house. He kept his focus ahead though from the corner of his eyes, he caught Khushi glancing towards him prior to walking into her house. He fought the desire to look at her for the last time. Why does she drive me crazy? Why does she make me so angry?!

All he wanted was time to make it right. He acknowledged that he had rushed into things without thinking. He already admitted it to her and yet, she refused to give him a chance to rectify his mistake. Its not like he committed murder or genocide. All he did was say he would marry someone else when he actually had no intention to do so. How many men have made a similar mistake?! He was sure loads. And he was sure it also extended to women folks as well. Wasn't it better to realize that one had no intention to marry before actually doing the marriage rituals and then realizing after?! So why was she being so hard on it.

He hit the steering wheel but felt his frustration levels still remained. He didn't know what else to do. Was this it? Was their relationship doomed even before it had time to bloom? He felt a tightening and heaviness in his chest. He struggled to move the gear stick to neutral and his foot remained on the brake pedal. He couldn't stay here all night, could he? Well that was being purely stupid since Arnav Singh Raizada had never waited on any girl before. But then Arnav Raizada had never been in love before either.

In love?! He froze. NO!!! It was just an infatuation. It will soon pass. Will it?! And was it not more than an infatuation. He thought about her all the time - night and day. He could even feel her when she was around. This had to definitely be more than infatuation. But love? Was he capable of love? Did he deserve it?!

His thoughts returned to Khushi and her declining his attempt.

If she did not want me, its her lost. I'm not going to think about her after this. That's it. That's it?! He felt his breathing laboured. Pull yourself together. She's just a girl. And irritating pest at that. Good riddance. He took another long blink to centre himself and slowly slided his right foot to the accelerator. Good bye Khushi.

He guided the 4x4 out of the residential area. He seemed to be driving on automatic pilot as his thoughts returned to the earlier events in the car. Something did not add up but what?!

He had seen her tearful as she struggle to control her emotions. When he asked for forgiveness for acting too rashly and slided to her whilst cupping her face, she had not fought him or tried to push away. He had expected her to say yes.

Wasn't that what she wanted in the first place then why no? And that too she had to clarify no to everything.And she seemed to find a new edge to her. Like her mind was made up about something.

He had immediately reacted and told her to get out. But only as they were parked in front of her house. But how many times prior did he tell her to get out without actually taking in to consideration that they were in the midst of no-where. Never thinking of what it actually would mean to her. Just reacting without consequences.

His thoughts drifted to one of her statements in their conversation: "Tell me you are not reacting now, Arnavji. Forget 24hrs, I'll give you my whole life. But you can't, can you?" Why did he sit quietly? Why did he not say anything? Was it because she was right, he was reacting again? He was always reacting around Khushi and around his emotions from day 1. And today was no different. Why would she give him a chance if this was another reaction? He was like a ship without any bearings. Would he give himself a chance? Definitely not, unless he was happy being stranded forever in the midst of a vast ocean.

He needed air and immediately parked the car off the road and stepped out. What did he truly want? He was successful in business because he knew what he wanted and went for it. He knew he wanted to be one of the richest men in India and the world to ensure the best for his sister and family, and he got that as well. But what did he want for himself emotionally? Was he content to being miserable all the time? Was he content to being in a relationship where he felt nothing ' like a living corpse? How fair was that to lavanya? In the past, he did not care and she didn't either. She seemed to be content with all the latest accessories and gifts. But since either Khushi or her got the idea of marriage, he had seen that Lavanya had changed. She was putting up with his family, in particular naniji for his happiness. Was he fair to her? Definitely not.

So what did he truly want? He stared at his reflection. His posture hunched and he looked miserable. That was not a good state to make any decision. Arnav, pull yourself together. He paced up and down the car, regularly taking deep breaths and blinking long. He needed to feel like Arnav Singh Raizada ' the mega successful and powerful Arnav Singh Raizada. He continued to walk up and down, ignoring the curious looks of on lookers and bypassers. After 2 minutes of pacing, he stopped.

"Now Mr Arnav Singh Raizada, what is it you want?" he asked his reflection.

"Khushi." He answered immediately with full conviction. He felt lighter and full of energy.

"Brilliant. How do you get her?" How did he get everything else in his life? He broke the goal or problem down and tackled each obstacle in turn. So his mind raced. Khushi is what he wanted. What were the possible problems?

Khushi herself. She had said no. He had to make her say yes. He was convinced that she felt the same way towards him. He had seen it in her eyes. He had enjoyed watching her as her eyes studied his lips and hands earlier in the car. From her eyes shut and accelerate breathing, he could deduce what she was imagining and hearing her call his name, he was convinced whatever it was involved him. So she was definitely in too him as well. That was a good start and he could use it to help him achieve what he wanted. But he also had to admire her for her sense of control. Not many women say no to him especially when they lust over him. So he had to work on her defences.

Her family. He did not know much about them apart from her talking about her parents. He had met her sister, Payal and her buaji. He was not sure if they liked him. Actually, he was convinced they didn't  and they had every right to since in the past he had behaved very rudely to khushi in front of them.

There was his family whom he needed to tell the truth to. He was sure they would accept khushi with open arms. It was him that they would have a problem with since his naniji would be convinced that he was reacting again and making another harsh decision.

Lavanya. He had to end the relationship and be honest. Honest about what? He and Khushi were not in a relationship but there was definitely an attraction from day 1. Maybe he also needed to be honest about why he had made the decision to marry. He closed his eyes and was convince for the first time in his life, a woman was justified to slap him for his behaviour. He massaged his cheeks in preparation. Well like khushi says, there is always a first for everything.


His priority was getting Khushi and whatever it took he would get her. And this time he would not be reacting. This time he would be well prepared and planned.

He felt buzzing. He always felt that way with a new project. And this project was more significant. For the first time, he was giving time to his emotional state and wanted to be happy. And for him to be happy, he needed Khushi.

He returned to the car and started the ignition. Now where would he start? He turned around to get his phone and Bluetooth device when he spotted a crimson coloured bag on the front passenger side. How convenient! He smiled. Did she leave it there accidentally or intentionally. She was adamant on leaving the car so quickly and became distracted when her sari was caught in the seat. His smile grew. Her things definitely had an affinity for him. How many times were they in similar positions. It seemed like they had already made their mind up from day one to bring them two together. So he was not alone. He had help in terms of her belongings and for the first time he felt maybe he also was receiving divine help. Was he starting to believe in god? Not yet. But since she believed in Devi Mayaa and he wanted Khushi, he could start acknowledging her Devi Mayaa but discretely.

His fingers followed the textures of her bag as he contemplated whether he drove back to see Khushi or he waited till tomorrow. He closed his eyes and images of her dressed in the red sari flashed before him. He definitely could not wait till tomorrow. With that, he started the car and returned to her house with new sense of purpose.




Khushi joined babuji, Payal and buaji in the living room. Part of her felt uncomfortable. Had she done the right thing? All he wanted was a chance. Why did she have to be difficult? But he was reacting wasn't it? She did give him a chance to refute her assumptions but he was quiet. She seemed strong in the car when she had decided so why did part of her not trust her decision.

What if he would not fight for her? Well then he was not worth it, wasn't it? Wasn't it better for her to be alone than to be with him for the wrong reason. Please Devi Mayaa, help me. Help him. Please. Why did she have to overdramatise things. Did she really need to say that she did not want to see his face again? What would happen if that became true. She felt her breathing becoming laboured. Please Devi Mayaa, I didn't mean what I said. Please, look after him and don't grant me the wish of not seeing him. Please.

"What have you decided?" buaji interrupted her thoughts.

About what? She sat in silence. Was buaji speaking about something? She had not been paying attention and did not want to admit that since this would be another thing that buaji would use against her in the future.

"Listen close, to refuse Shyam babua's proposal, you will need a strong reason to do so. Do you understand Naand Kishore?"

Oh! So this is again about Shyam's proposal. She had got so fed up with the damn proposal and actually for the first time regreted ever meeting him. Buaji, how about the fact that I'm in love with someone else as a strong reason to say no?

Khushi froze. In love? She closed her eyes. Yes she was in love with him. But she also had told him no when he wanted to make it work. She cringed her eyes. Maybe buaji was right. She was a big idiot!!! Please, please, please, please Devi Mayaa, make it all better. He does love me doesn't he? Please Devi Mayaa. I'm only doing this so that he is sure that I am the one. I'm the one aren't I? Khushi could not believe her inner chatter. Was she that weak?! And that pathetic? She did not need Arnav Singh Raizada. She was Khushi Kumari Gupta and she was self sufficient and confident. Why would she need a man? Though as soon as asked herself the question, part of her became perplexed.

"Do you want tea, bitiya?" her mother placed her hand softly on her shoulders bringing her attention back to the room.

Khushi shook her head. She was not interested in tea. She was not interested in food. She was just interested in'Don't say it!!! You decided!!! Now be strong!!!

"Why are you silent Khushi? Has something caught your tongue? Why are you not saying anything? Say something!!!" her buaji commanded.

What could she say? When nothing she could say would settle her buaji. She was looking for a yes to shyam's proposal. She had been demanding it since the proposal arrive. Where did the proposal arrive in the first place? Khushi was now feeling annoyed. She told Shyam she was not interested in marriage and thought he would do something about it. He spoke sweetly and reassured her but nothing had changed. Why was she expecting it to change in the first place? He was not like arnavji anyway. Again her thoughts raced back to arnavji and the events in the car. Part of her cringed again. How much more of this self torture she would be able to tolerate?

A knock on the door again brought her attention back in to the room. Maybe arnav was right. She did spend most of her day engrossed in her inner chatter. But did she want to stop?!

Khushi sprinted to the door. She had enough of buaji's not so subtle inuendo on her uselessness at not making the decision to marry shyam.

"You?! What are you doing here? Didnt I say that I didn't want to see your face ever again. Looks like you have trouble understanding things" khushi whispered though part of her was pleased that he was at her door. Thank you Devi Mayaa! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!! Again I didnt mean the not seeing him part. Please. She silently prayed though tried to maintain the fascade of not caring.

"Well maybe you should have told that to your belongings first." Arnav stretched out her bag. "Besides Khushi, why do I have a feeling this is all an act? Also its got me thinking that the rate your belongings seem to cluster around me suggest that either you are doing it intentionally or this has got to be more than mere chance. Don't you think?" He smirked.

Khushi stood silently as she grabbed her bag, paying particular attention to not touch his hand. Was it that obvious? It couldn't be. She was so sure he was angry before but now he seemed very calm and confident. Something had changed in him. She studied his eyes and there was a hint of warmth but the cold stare was also there. ASR?! Really? She was definitely doomed. She expected him to shout at her but he stood there staring with his smirk growing. Did he have to look that cute?!

"Who is that Khushi?" Buaji shouted from the room. "Hare Naand Kishore." Her voiced became softer as she saw Arnav standing at the main door. "You?" She turned her attention towards Khushi. "Hare Sanka Devi, together with your voice as your manners also gone?" she whispered rudely.

"Hare babua, why are you standing at the door. Please do come in." Buaji politely and sweetly invited Arnav in.

Khushi stood studying Arnav. Would he come in? Why? I had told him I did not want to see his face? You had also prayed to Devi Mayaa asking not to grant you that wish as well. Quiet, she demanded.

She watched as buaji introduced him to her ammaji and babuji. "Namaste." He folded his hands and greeted them.

Namaste?! She almost fainted. Did he say Namaste? She had never heard him be so polite since she had met him. She was definitely in trouble this evening. She had thought she got away lightly but this was just the calm before the storm.

"Namaste Arnavji. Please do sit down. Shall I bring some tea and sweets?" her ammaji spoke.

Immediately Khushi panicked. "No Amma, he is not allowed sweets." She tried not to look at Arnav.

Arnav tried not to smile. "Well I'm sure a little bit of sweet will not be detrimental. After all its a day of celebration. Its Diwali and I had decided to get married." He informed her household, stealing occasional glances at Khushi.

"That is excellent news. Please do sit." Her amma indicated a position on the sofa next to babuji. And Arnav politely obliged.

"Its ok Amma, I'll make the tea and bring the sweets. Everyone for tea?" Khushi politely asked. She needed to get out of the room.

Khushi quickly placed a pot full of water on the stove. She broke two green cardamoms and tossed it into the pot together with a few cloves and a small piece of ginger. As she waited for the water to boil, she pondered on what was happening. Arnav was sitting in her living room, being polite with her family and agreed to tea and sweets.
He hated sweets and yet he wanted them.
He hated polite talk and yet he was conversing with her parents and enquiring about their general well being and trying to make small talk.

She moved her body until she could catch a glimpse of him.
Who was this guy? He may look like Arnav but he had to be an imposter. Did someone kidnap her Arnav?

Her Arnav???!!! Please Khushi, get a grip on your life. Since when was he yours? Just make the tea before buaji complains about you again, especially infront of him. She hurriedly added milk but withheld the sugar. He can't have sugar and the rest would have to add the sugar to taste. She poured the tea into 5 cups and filled a sugar bowl. She also poured some warm water in a cup with a spoon for her babuji. She placed the items on to a tray and then grabbed some sweets. She added jalebi of course and she had kept a few non-sugar sweets that she had made for Arnavji earlier for her to get used to the taste. To get used to the taste? What was she thinking then but at least it was not coming in handy now. See forward planning sometimes helps. That an a referral to a mental institution.

With her tray full, she walked towards the living room.

Arnav watched as Khushi approached them. He was elated inside. She looked like a dutifull daughter that was bringing tea in as part of the viewing by the guy for marriage. All that was missing was his family. But then maybe like what Khushi believes, his parents especially his mother could be with him. He felt himself becoming tense as he fought to push the past away from his thoughts. He watched her as she elegantly laid the tray on the table. He definitely did want her and he recalled when she made him laugh. It had been ages since he laughed like that and he wanted to feel lighter again.

He contemplated helping her but thought otherwise. That would raise too much suspicion. Especially since the last time he had been here, he was throwing money at them for Khushi to return to work at RM to please Anjali. He would definitely need to take things slow with her family. Slow and steady wins the race, Arnav Singh Raizada. Just slow progress.
His attention returned to her as she handed a cup to him. Thank you, he mouthed. He watched as she handed the cups around. He also watched as Payal studied both of them. Maybe he would need to work on her liking him first. After all she was khushi's sister and he knew how important his sister was to him.

Her buaji took an immediate sip and spat. "Hare Naand Kishore. Like your voice and manners, as your cooking skills also gone out of the window. Why did you forget to put the sugar in the tea, Sanka Devi?!"

"Buaji, Arnavji does not take sugar. So I made it without and thought that we could add the sugar to taste." She approached Buaji and stirred in 2 teaspoons of sugar. She worked her way around the room, adding sugar to her ammaji's cup and payal's cup. She intentionally left hers out as she wanted to again get used to the taste but no one had to know that. She avoided two pairs of glances ' one his and the other Payal's who was staring at her with curiosity fully written across her face.

Khushi made a mental note that she may explain what was happening to Payal later on. She needed an ally and she also needed someone to confirm with her whether she was definitely loosing the plot and needed to get help.

Khushi grabbed a cushion and sat on the floor next to her babuji. She slowly fed him the water through the spoon and frequently stole glances at Arnav, who was studying her throughout.

"What is this?" Buaji interrupted again. She was pointing at the non-sugar sweets. "Sanka Devi?!"

"Oh buaji, that's just non-sugar sweets." Khushi replied as a matter of fact as she fed her father another spoon of water, and carefully dabbed his mouth with the ends of her sari.

"I know what it is Khushi. I was not born yesterday. Why have we got it here?" Buaji continued her onslaught.

"I made them yesterday for Diwali. I read somewhere that diabetes is gripping India and the prevalence is increasing. So I thought we needed to cut down on sugar. And what better way to start then making non-sugar sweets." Khushi answered though was not that convincing. She could not tell her whole family that she made it for Arnavji. What would they then think?! She looked at Payal and pleaded with her to not say anything.

"Sanka Devi, have you definitely lost your mind?!"

Might be so. She tried not to look at Arnav though his smirk was back.

"Arnavji, please have some sweets." Ammaji served him.

"Definitely." He obliged and ate a piece. "Khushi, are you not having any?"

Khushi moved towards the table and picked up the jalebi.

"Not that one Khushi. Werent you saying about the importance of non-sugar sweets. Arent you going to try what you made? They are very good. Did you make it for anyone special or yourself?" Arnav asked though he had already known the answer.

He watched as her fingers struggled to let go of the jalebi and moved towards the other sweet. She took a bite and gulped it down. Anything for love eh?! She gulped her tea down and then realized that she intentionally did not put sugar in. What was she thinking? He couldn't have sweet that was his problem not hers.

"So how is he now?" Arnav enquired about her father to ammaji.

"He is doing much better. With Devi Mayaa's blessing, lets hope he will be back to his usual self soon." Ammaji replied.

"Arnav babua, you were saying that you had agreed to marriage. I just realized that I did not congratulate you. Do we know the girl?" Buaji interrupted, again bringing the topic back to marriage.

"I should hope so."he smiled and stole another glance at khushi.

Khushi stared at him in shock. Was he talking about her? Impossible. Does this guy not understand no. but she could feel her cheeks getting hot. Please Khushi, no blushing not now anyway. Not infront of them. Please Devi Mayaa.

"Well maybe you could advice khushi as well, seeing that you are also her boss." Buaji continued.

"Advice Khushi on what?" Arnav looked puzzled. He continued to sip his tea. He knew Khushi had made it exactly how he liked it. She was very attentive to his needs, confirming that "no" was just an act.

"On marriage. We have a good proposal for her. Our paying guest but she does not say anything." Buaji continued oblivious to the glances across the room.

Arnav started coughing.

"Are you ok, Arnavji? Shall I get water?" Khushi was on her feet.

He held his hand out to stop her. His eyes became colder as he took the last information in. "On what?!" his voice strained.

Khushi recognized this though her glance towards her ammaji and buaji, confirmed her suspicion that they remained oblivious. She did not know whether it was a good thing or bad. Definitely bad if his anger levels increased and he did something in reaction.

"Look at the time. Arnavji, your guests must still be waiting at home. Thank you for dropping me." Khushi stood up, desperate to get Arnav out of the room.

"Why so soon. We were just talking." Buaji interjected. "is this how you treat your guest Khushi?"

No, but buaji if you dont stop, I have no idea how I would be treating you!!! Khushi felt her desperation rise. She never mentioned to anyone at RM that she had a marriage proposal. Why should she when her intentions were to say no. But now it was all coming out wrong. He would think that she was just tricking him and she could just see him shutting her out completely again.

"So Khushi has a marriage proposal?" Arnav asked, his tone controlled. Part of him was exceeding in anger but he reminded himself that he had to not react. He wanted khushi. There was an additional obstacle he had not factored in. Now he had. Why did he even think that it was going to be a smooth ride. Obstacles were always there and where Khushi was concerned, there may be much more. But he was going to overcome all of them - one by one. He was more interested in Khushi's response.

"Yes. From a really lovely guy. He has been staying with us as a paying guest for few months now. And I don't think there will be a better proposal for khushi especially with her father being ill." Buaji continued proudly.

Arnav just nodded. "And Khushi?" he looked at her, taking deep breaths and blinking. He had to stay focus.

Khushi struggled to look away. She could see the coldness in his eyes return with a vengeance. There was no Arnavji. Devi Mayaa, why does this only happen to me? She could fill her eyes getting heavy.

"Khushi is being khushi. She has not given an answer yet. I've told her she needs a good reason to refuse the proposal. Maybe you can advice her?" Buaji asked.

"How long have you been waiting for an answer?" He asked.

"A week. How long can the guy wait? She does not understand the importance of it."

Khushi could feel her anger levels rise. If it was so important for her to accept Shyam's proposal and Shyam was such a nice guy, why didn't buaji just marry him herself!!!

Arnav stood up. Carefully placed the cup on the table. He looked at babuji, ammaji, payal and buaji. "Thank you for your hospitality. And I will certainly advice Khushi on the marriage prospective. Good bye." His eyes remained on Khushi as he walked passed her, making his way to the door.

"Khushi, go with Arnav babua."

Khushi walked behind him, slowly but oblingingly as she waited for the storm to arrive. He had been too calm for her liking and soon, he would erupt. She just hoped she had the mental strength and the emotional strength to cope. He would definitely not want anything to do with her after this evening.

As they both approached the furthest distance from the door on the porch, Khushi finally had the courage to speak. "Thank you for coming."

Arnav turned and stared at her. "How long khushi?"

"How long what?"

"How long were you going to keep the proposal news from everyone at RM" he asked again his voice was controlled. "Did you not see the need to tell me."

"Tell you?! Why should I tell you? Did you see the need to tell me about you getting married?" khushi was now slightly irate. How dare he?!

"Why have you not given an answer, khushi?"

"What's it with you?"

"Answer the question. Do you like him, Khushi?" he studied her expression, ensuring that he remained cold.

"Yes. He is nice. He is sweet, caring, considerate when I speaks, full of respect. He does not tarnish my social status and is accepting of who I am. He does not ill treat me."

"Excellent. So I guess there is no reason to say no then. I wish you and your upcoming marriage a success." Arnav fought the turmoil within. Stay focus.

Khushi studied him.  Part of her screamed and she struggled to hear herself think. All she heard was a massive shattering. "Is that it? Is that all you are going to say?"

"What do you want me to say khushi? You have already summed up how wonderful he is, so I suppose an acceptance of the proposal is imminent. Why would you say no?" He studied her, and kept his cool. He was now going to behave like he did in business ' poker face always worked for him though he was definitely finding it hard. Sometimes, when you want something, you have to be prepared to walk away. "Goodbye Khushi." He turned and placed his foot on the steps.

"Because he is not you." She whispered as she tried to contain her tears. "Because my heart does not race when he is around. Because my eyes dont search his whenever I'm in a room or a hall. Because I dont feel anything with him."

"Because what Khushi?"

"It does not matter. Goodbye Arnavji." She spoke softly. She had to turn. She did not want for him to see her in tears again. She was about to turn when she felt his hand touched her arm softly.

Arnav took a step closer to khushi and whispered in her left ear. "And Lavanya is not you. Likewise, Khushi, Lavanya does not make my heart race and I dont feel anything with her. I'm just a walking corpse. Would you want to be that way Khushi? Would you resign me to that fate?"

His lips lightly brushed on her ear lobe sending shivers down her spine. Khushi turned to look at him. Her eyes studied his face and rested on his lips. What she wouldnt give to taste those lips and have them taste hers and to explore her. Khushi closed her eyes but the images of what she wanted him to do to her returned with intensity. She immediately opened her eyes and tried to control her breathing again. She tried to concentrate on his shirt, his ears, the sky but nothing worked.

"Khushi, is that your mental chatter again or are you imagining what I would be doing to you when we are alone?" he whispered and saw her blushing all over.

"Arnavji?!" Khushi struggled to push him as he continued to stand so close. Her heart continued to accelerate and instinctly she placed her hand on her chest to try and slow it down.

Arnav moved so that he was facing Khushi and could look at her directly. He placed his hand on hers and whispered "Please Khushi, I want us to work and I am prepared to do anything to make it work. I agree maybe in the past I have reacted harshly but this is not a reaction. I seriously am prepared to do whatever it takes and for how long. I promise I wont build our dream over other people's ashes. I promise I will be truthful to the rest and I promise I will always keep you happy though I cannot promise that sometimes I will not react to your stupidity or childish remarks. But I shall try and tame my reaction. Please give me a chance." He shared his inner most feelings except for the final confession of I love you. That would have to wait. For tonight, he had made enough changes.

He watched as she studied him. She took a deep breath and then nodded. "I love you too, Arnavji. And you can have all the time in the world. I shall wait and fight off my buaji for you and for us. Let's hope I'm not an old maid by then." She smiled.

He squeezed her hand and then brought her hand to his mouth before placing a kiss on her hand. Khushi immediately pulled her hand away.  "We are in public. Good night Arnavji."

"Goodnight Khushi and I shall see you tomorrow at my place. I know you told everyone your job is finished but as I still employ you until we make our relationship formal, you will still turn up to work. Understand?" He instructed softly. He struggled to hear himself as his heart kept racing loudly. Khushi had said yes.

He returned to the car and as he sat in his seat, his gaze never left her. For once in his life, he was happy and elated. And with her by his side, nothing could go wrong now. He now would have to tackle his family and Lavanya. He was pretty sure that her family was nearly there.

He placed his bluetooth piece into his ear and as he drove home, he placed a call to Aman.
"Aman, I need you to get me the best private detective tonight. Instruct him that I want to know everything about Khushi's paying guest. And I want it by 9am tomorrow morning. Understand? He will be rewarded handsomely" He gave Aman the address and then disconnected. It was still important to be overprepared, especially to know who was his potential competition.